I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
