You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
