I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me