i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I need to sanitize my soul.