Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS