the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
