you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
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I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
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He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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