I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize