I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
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