found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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