How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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