his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
