I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
