my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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