Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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