the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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