I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
