you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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