its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
