I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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