So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
