Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
