you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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