"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
