And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
