I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
