have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
