i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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