You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
