the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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