Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
