i think my tv is drunk
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
