Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
