I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
