on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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