Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My pussy is not your playground.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
