i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
