Kiss
Puke
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
