I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
