He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
