My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
