i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
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