I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
