CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
