I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
