There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
