Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love