Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.