i think my mom watched the whole time
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.