Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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