But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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