I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
