That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
