Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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