Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
