I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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