How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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