I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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